I Turn to You
by WithDemonWings
Summary: A little disconnected in parts. When both Buffy and Anya die, they have no one else to turn to, that it just sort of happens. OOC AU


_Inspired on a hot day as I walked to the corner store to get me a slushie, (that isn't so slushie anymore), as I listened to the music I had on my phone, that I didn't even know I had! This song came on and I suppose I had been reading too much Spander. (Gasp, Never! Such a thing is not possible!) I was reading the fabulous __"Lost"__ by Velvet Crypt, so I guess I sort of wanted to do my own Hurt/Comfort with a touch of angst... I don't know. It's sort of ambiguous... _

**I Turn To You**

_When the world is darker than I can understand  
When nothing turns out the way I planned  
When the sky turns gray and there's no end in sight  
When I can't sleep through the lonely night_

It wasn't supposed be this way.

She wasn't supposed to be dead.

But she was and he wasn't and they were all so shaken they could barely stand and he hadn't gotten there in time and she was dead and he wasn't and it all hurt so fucking much.

Later, alone, he tried to sleep, knew he had to, if he was going to function at anything but he could, not without her. Not in the empty room, empty bed.

_I turn to you  
Like a flower leaning toward the sun  
I turn to you  
'Cos you're the only one  
Who can turn me around when I'm upside down  
I turn to you  
_  
~*~

He was there, just as hurt, just as damaged and they suddenly clicked. A bright spot in a bleak terrain.

When nothing made sense he was there. When all he wanted to do was rage and scream and cry. He was there, with a snide remark, a witty reply; a comforting touch.

When there was no one else, he was there.

_When my insides are wracked with anxiety  
You have touch that will quiet me  
You lift my spirit  
You melt the ice  
When I need inspiration  
When I need advice  
_  
~*~

When he needed someone who wasn't them, someone who could see past all the wrongness, he was there. He could smooth away anxieties with simple words and gentle touches.

He was there with the kind words and the harsh ones and he helped but everything together again.

_I turn to you  
Like a flower leaning toward the sun  
I turn to you  
'Cos you're the only one  
Who can turn me around when I'm upside down  
I turn to you  
_  
~*~

On the days where it was too hard to get up, when it hurt to look at anything, at them, to see them laughing and smiling and telling bad jokes.

He was there.

When they were there, yelling and fighting and cursing each other, he always appeared.

He straightened him out, set him a straight path.

_Where would I be?  
What would I do?  
If you'd never helped me through  
I hope someday if you've lost your way  
You could turn to me like I turn to you  
_  
~*~

He watched him sleep, it had been a rough few days, what with the vampire swarm that had suddenly over taken the town, but they'd all worked together and the fiends were back down to a more manageable level.

He had no idea what he would have done without him.

Without his strength and sarcasm.

He hoped that, maybe, one day, he would be as he is to him.

_I turn to you  
Like a flower leaning toward the sun  
I turn to you  
'Cos you're the only one  
Who can turn me around when I'm upside down  
I turn to you_

It was terrible.

He had almost died, they both had and yet they hadn't.

They had left them alone, together, and the silence was deafening.

_~*~_

_I turn to you  
When fear tells me to turn around  
I turn to you  
'Cos you're the only one  
Who can turn me around when I'm upside down_

In the time that between the almost death and the now, it had been tense and awkward and filled with longing. Everyone was frustrated and, yet, there wasn't anything they could do.

So they waited.

And prayed that someone would do something to pull the two together.

Finally someone did.

_I turn to you  
I turn to you_

'Xan! Can you get the Dragon Compendium while you're down there?'

It had been Dawn who had asked that Xander get a book from the basement.

'Spike, I can't find the dried cat tails? Can you look downstairs?'

It had been Tara who had requested that Spike get some ingredients from the basement.

'They might be against the back wall.'

It had been Giles who had locked the pair in the basement of the magic.

'Use that super vamp sense of smell!'

It had been Willow who had vampire-proofed the door.

'I miss her but I want you, so badly.'

It had been Xander who had cracked first.

'She would only want you to be happy, pet.'

It was Spike that held the sobbing human as he shed his own healing tears. Amazing how a simple piece of whispered advice could apply to the both of them.

_I turn to you_


End file.
